The Business

Tom Wiggins can dribble a bowling ball

On today's Warmachine adjacent ramblings we actually kinda stick to a topic before derailing ourselves almost as hard as Jay's mum got railed on University.
 
Speaking of Rail!
fuck have you seen the guy obsessed with trains with the 360 camera while he chases after them looking like nightmare fuel.
That was the guys in the 70's running towards Jays mom's place to run a train on her.
 
Fuck what has she done to deserve this kind of talk.
Jay's mom is lovely, I just had to pick the low hanging fruit.......
But back in the day so did so many other guys!!

Tom Wiggins approves of Battle driven

Hi Chickens today we talk across to Riker in the made up land of America.
While he insists that America is a real place we all know Riker is really just a chat bot that is here to comfort old men.
So join us while we humour this chat bot from the made up land and he tries to convince us that Brinebloods are not the top dog of the meta everywhere.

Tom Wiggins is actually Zordon

So today out walking the dogs I walk past a very flamboint man.
I smiled and said hi, to then be chased down.
He introduced himself as Troy and asked if I played basketball, I replied yes.
He said he does "Male Massage" and the first visit is free.
he hands me a card, shakes my hand and walks off.
 
This card had nothing on it except a picture of a swimming pool his name and number.
 
It's the little things in life like a stranger propositioning you for sex under the guise of a massage in the middle of the day that make life worth living.

Tom Wiggins can unscramble an egg

BRB

Tom Wiggins riverdance extravaganza

Josh Has boobs on his knees, boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees boobs on his knees.
 
 
Josh are a giant poopy face.

TWIG's Ten Tenants

Okay so Jay invited this girl he has been dating to a group chat a little while ago.
 
 He told her that it was him and a few of his closest friends.
 
The catch is it’s just Jay…. He is everyone in the chat.
 It’s the worst best psyOp!
 It’s kinda like just everyone saying how great Jay is and what a fun guy he is.
 
 
 

Tom Wiggins is Kanye West's "other" Cousin

No Jay I will not do a live recreation of Kayne West and his cousin.
 
My dad used to toast Christmas with a glass of champaign and the line for our friends and family Champaign and to our enemies real pain.
This always elicits the same groan from everyone as the same dad joke gets both better and worse every year.
 
So my Drunk sister last year beats him to the toast.
But she has a bottle of Shampoo and toasts for our friends and family Shampoo and for our enemies real poo.
 
I don't think I have herd my dad laugh that hard since I told him how Jay lost his virginity. 

Tom Wiggins Burninated Trogdor

As a teen Jay was sleeping over at my house. My parents and brother were all sleeping upstairs while we were downstairs watching tv, playing video games and shit. At around 1 am Jay asks if this girl can come over (he REALLY wants to get with this girl, and I don't want to turn him down so I reluctantly agree, on the condition that she's quiet.) The three of us are hanging out and I make some excuse to leave the room so my friend can have some alone time with this girl. I'm upstairs in my room when I start hearing loud moans. This is bad news for me, but great news for my friend, he's losing his virginity to a girl he really likes. I hear stirring in the next room and I know that their bout of loud lovemaking has woken my parents. The last thing I want is for my confused father to walk in on my friend fucking this girl in my basement. What do I do? I go to pornhub, click on the first video I see, crank that shit to 100 on my speakers and let it play for the ~three minutes that my buddy ended up lasting. My dad ended up coming into my room, discovering the source of the noise (I even threw in some fapping motion under the covers) and awkwardly leaving. My buddy ended up having "the best fucking time ever bro" but jesus there were some awkward glances exchanged between my parents and I the next morning.

Tom Wiggins is Darkwing Duck

On today's sleep deprived episode Jay has finally come to the realisation that Kathy Bates is actually the best Bates.
 
Jay gets licked by Macy, a sheds a single tear as it's the first time he has been shown love in his life.
But really it's a reward for admitting the greatness of Kathy Bates.
 
And we have the grand reveal of Josh's SDI screen and you won't believe the things he has caught this week.
If you stay to the end there is a special surprise

The Eternal Sunshine of a spotless Tom Wiggins

We welcome Zombie Jay to this weeks cast as he won't shunt up about how much he loves everyone with the name Bates.
He keeps telling me in private how he has a new favourite Bates and it's not Kathy Bates....
 
Speaking of Kathy Bates, how amazing its the movie Misery!
Chilling She definitely deserved the Academy award for that one.
 
Really what I am saying is how can Kathy Bates not be everyones favourite Bates.